Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Magic of Noble Friends

Over 18 years ago around 10 of us new meditators agreed to meet every other Thursday in a Kalyana-Mitra group.  We came to sit and learned how to profoundly listen and speak with greater mindfulness for 2 hours. 

It is my understanding that Kalyana-Mitra (KM ) or "noble friend" comes from the Buddhist tradition where wisdom and insight is cultivated when like-minded people meet together focused around a common intention.  Our amazing gatherings began in Takoma Park not far from where I was born. Here, we agreed to explore our difficult emotions.

John O’Donohue writes in Anam Cara- A Book of Celtic Wisdom on page 25-26;

KM or noble friend will not accept pretension but will gently and very firmly confront you with your own blindness. No one can see his life totally.  As there is a blind spot in the retina of the human eye, there is also in the soul a blind side where you are not able to see. Therefore you must depend on the one you love to see for what you cannot see for yourself. Your KM complements your vision in a kind and critical way.  Such friendship is creative and critical; it is willing to negotiate awkward and uneven territories of contradiction and woundedness.
 
One of our deepest longings of the human soul is the longing to be seen. In the ancient myth Narcissus looks into a pool and sees his own face, and becomes obsessed with it. Unfortunately, there is no mirror in the world you can catch a glimpse of your soul. You cannot even see you whole body completely.  If you look behind you, the front of your body is out of view. You can never be fully visually present to your self. The one you love, your anam cara, your soul friend, is the truest mirror to reflect your soul. The honesty and clarity of true friendship also brings out the real contour of your spirit. It is beautiful to such presence in your life.

As I celebrate our KM anniversary with our group this weekend I feel boundless gratitude. What magic it is to have noble friends who have elevated my life with such a priceless heartfelt experience.

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