My life aligns when I truly see the world as it is, allowing myself to see that everything in the world is one giant pendulum. Also this outlook provides me with an invaluable perspective: I never know what is good or bad.
When I see the positive with the negative and the negative with the positive, then I profoundly find out what things are about. Everything in our life is both a blessing and a curse. If we observe all things as being on a cosmic seesaw then we are provided some insights into how all things and events balance out. However, to be able to observe in this manner requires becoming wakeful and present. By cultivating equanimity, I can free my heart. This creates freedom and opens new doors of seeing.
It is tough to look at what is unattractive, brutal and uncomfortable. Yet if we do not show up to what life is truly about then a form of cowardice spiritually kills me.
We live in a conditioned fear-based culture. We are sold products by promoting consumerism for the separate-self. And we become further deluded by emotions of fear, judgment, anger and other forms of self-protective defense mechanisms, which in turn cause us to buy more things. Finally, our heart-numbing mind becomes even more disconnected driven by incessant wants and aversions. This toothpaste will brighten your smile and this cream will cure your baldness.
Yes, it is easy to become lost in thoughts. Such thinking is driven by desires that cause both anxiety and restlessness. I find myself always in route, traveling somewhere yet never arriving. Whether working, walking, eating I am constantly physically shifting to find pleasure and comfort. I find staying busy lessens my angst. In essence I am driven at some unconscious level to satisfy my craving.
If I am to evolve mentally, I need to become more vulnerable. I need to open myself to new ways of thinking and experiencing. Having a totally desire-driven mind-set makes me feel blind and hollow. Sure, a certain form of defensive thinking is natural and helps me survive. However, I want to find healthier and wiser boundaries in the manner my mind works. I want to expand myself and be more open to new possibilities, and cultivate spiritual intimacy.
Realizing what is happening both in my inner as well as my outer world, and not plagued by a desire-driven mind-set, results in moments of non-reactive presence. By exploring and staying aware of my reactivity and obsessing, I can free myself from what enslaves me. Yes, I can enjoy feelings of safety, of physical and emotional nourishment; however, when doing so leads to attachment and clinging, I become lost.
When I am awake, I can see my attachment and remain in balance. But when I am disconnected from awareness, and I desire a certain experience, I become lost in my wanting to control the situation. Only when, through mindful presence I see my “wants” and “fears” as they truly are, and am not so identified with them, do I find inner freedom.
Now I can untie this knot around my neck. When I observe my energy around attachment this allows me to venture into less grasping and clinging. Such exploration opens my heart, and gives me a sense deathless possibility. I no longer fear. Attachment becomes minimal. I then can understand that attachment can result in things owning me instead of me owning things.
Becoming free happens when I find a balance. Equanimity arises when I lessen judgment and resistance. When I get out of my idea of who I am, I enter a gateway that reveals the possibility of spaciousness love.
So when I feel hurt or threatened and begin to shut down, if I do not take it so personally, the dark clouds begin to disappear. If I can allow myself to fully feel my emotions, feel the anger and hurt, the fear and vulnerability—and be able to watch it pass (for nothing lasts), then I can find peace. It is like I am in a river of feelings. I can try to swim against it and battle it, or I can go where it flows and not fight it.
It comes down to how I see things. Do I see them on the surface for a very short term and be swayed by them? Or do I examine my patterns and the long- term consequences of my actions? My ticket to inner peace is about seeing things as unconditional. My life becomes so enslaved by being conditioned. If I have the strength, will and discipline, I can watch my craving, fear, and aversion change, since these are conditional states and will pass. I am not becoming indifferent when I watch, or disengaged about my life. Rather, I am cutting to the bottom-line. When I get real with myself and recognize that my emotions will pass, that essentially they are not me, then I balance my scales.
The real leap to finding genuine freedom is to accept life as it is. As Kipling mindfully wrote in IF, “…to meet triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters as just the same.” To see what is right and wrong with all things, then I notice what is here and now.
Our greatest challenge is our self. For we know little about how our self operates, and how ignorant it is of the world. Equanimity provides insight to remove us from our mental prisons. Such joy will result from this awareness allowing us true freedom from our inner shadows. The more we can rest in equanimity and accept things as they are, the greater we can become liberated. Is not our greatest challenge to lessen our suffering? Happiness comes from awakening and employing skillful actions of virtue and discernment.
Balance is about seeing everything from a positive and negative charge. Life is about electricity and finding energy that best renews itself. If one thing balances the next then the way to we find the middle ground is to offset the extremes. Learning about how to find balance is all about how to skillfully best live. When I do not sweat the small stuff and see the bigger more balanced picture, I know the giant pendulum swings in both directions. Whether I feel joy or sadness, I have the power to treat these two imposters as just the same, instead of going insane trying to resist imbalance. Just imagine the possibilities of finding harmonious relations when we can stand in the middle of this mysterious cosmic seesaw.
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